Condensing the opening

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My opening is too long. I have reviewed it and got some help from peers and i believe too much is happening in my opening. This is a small rough draft i made during class. I didn't have a template so i decided to use regular paper and make boxes. (Im no artist, so please do not judge)


I need to condense my opening, I have four major scenes.

  • opening narration 
  • mom and daughter 
  • father and daughter 
  • girl and her crush
The opening is the narrator and the amile style opening with the narrator explaing the importance of this exact moment in time. Then it will go into the backstory of the protagonist abandonment issues and her mother problems when the mom leaves her and her father alone. It will go into the next scene with a graphic match of the daughter crying but this time she will be older and then the father will come into the scene, they will have a conversation then go to school, it will change into the crush scene, the girl will see her crush and have a small conversation that shows the crush is interested in her but she is standoffish with the conversation. this is will conclude my opening. I wanted to include the mother to show the root of the protagonist abandonment issues and build on that as a constant problem with the protagonist and those around her.

I am going to revise how to condense my film opening, I want to shorten it without losing any of the message or flow of the film. I still need to make a script fully but i need to figure out the story board completely to find out how my characters will interact.

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